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RECOMMENDED SELF-HELP BOOKS
Here are some of the books I am happy to recommend. These are not meant to replace counselling/ therapy, but instead to complement my work with clients.
Many of them are lesser known than the big bestsellers. All books are paperbacks, and can be purchased new, or secondhand at Amazon.
ADDICTIONS
The Truth About Addiction And Recovery, by Stantion Peele and Archie Brodsky.
Refutes conventional attitudes toward addiction and recovery and presents a program of behavioral changes for personal recovery.
Lilly says: Very good book, not based on the AA model.
ANGER
Letting Go of Anger: The Eleven Most Common Anger Styles and What to Do About Them, by Ronald T. Potter-Efron and Patricia S. Potter-Efron (Paperback - 30 Sep 2006).
Lilly says: Highly recommended classic self-help book.
ANXIETY
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (Anxiety & Phobia Workbook), by Edmund J. Bourne.
“A revision of the best-selling classic. provides step-by-step help for sufferers of anxiety and phobic disorders. Offers the latest treatment strategies for the whole range of these problems - panic disorder, agoraphobia, generalised anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder - with revisions that include updated information on medications, mindfulness training, and health-related conditions that aggravate anxiety.”
Lilly says: Another classic! Highly recommended
Your Survival Guide To Panic Attacks, by Bev Aisbett.
Lilly says: Wise, good fun, with cartoons.
ASSERTIVENESS / SAYING ‘NO’
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy, by Manuel J. Smith
Lilly says: Highly recommended classic self-help book. It withstood the test of time over 35 years!
BREAKDOWN
Surviving Breakdown: Coping, Healing and Rebuilding After a Nervous Breakdown (Positive health), by Elizabeth Wilde McCormick ( Mar 1997).
Lilly says: Excellent book. Amongst others looks at breakdown as an opportunity for a breakthrough.
DEPRESSION
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns.
Lilly says: A real classic, uses largely CBT. Highly recommended.
Overcoming Depression: A Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques, by Paul Gilbert.
Lilly says: Another real classic, uses largely CBT. Highly recommended.
GRIEF
Good Grief Rituals: Tools for Healing (Healing Companion), by Elaine Childs-Gowell.
Lilly says: It can be found secondhand at Amazon.
MENOPAUSE
Passage to Power, Natural Menopause Revolution, by Leslie Kenton.
“Designed to help women who fear the menopause or who are suffering from menopausal troubles, this text tackles the science of menopause and scrutinizes the practices commonly associated with. Leslie Kenton questions the benefits of HRT, and examines the powers of natural progesterone.”
Lilly says: An excellent book. A treasure trove full of information. A must read, when you go into the menopause, even though it has not been reprinted, and perhaps not entirely up to date. It can be found secondhand at Amazon.
‘PERSONAL GROWTH’ AND RELATED TOPICS
Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realise Your Potential for Lasting Fulfilment, by Martin E.P. Seligman.
Lilly says: This book is rapidly becoming another classic.
Life Choices, Life Changes: Develop Your Personal Vision for the Life You Want, by Dina Glouberman, March 2007.
Lilly says: Another classic, using Dina’s own style of image work (a type of visualization).
When I Loved Myself Enough, by Kim Mcmillen.
WHEN I LOVED MYSELF ENOUGH is a collection of wisdom that is startling in its simplicity. By the end of the book the message becomes clear: loving yourself holds the key to loving others and having others love you. By sharing her insights, the author also shows us how to feel the same sense of peace and quiet joy that illuminated her life.
Lilly says: Lovely little book!
RELATIONSHIPS
Love Isn't Quite Enough: Psychology of Male-Female Relationships, Maryon Tysoe.
“Dr Maryon Tysoe answers questions about love and relationships in this book that blends research, psychological findings and wit to help both men and women cope and flourish in their relationships with the opposite sex. Examining every aspect of today's male-female relationships, the book looks at different styles of love, why some affairs turn into commitment and some do not, the importance of "working" relationships, ways of enhancing your sex life, infidelity and jealousy, violence, dual-career relationships, and what to do if it all starts to go wrong."
Lilly says: A brilliant and very funny book. All this for one penny + PP at Amazon secondhand! Buy it whilst you can… the best books don't become best sellers!
The Passion Paradox. What To Do When One Person Loves More Than The Other, by Dean C Delis with Cassandra Phillips.
(Out of print , as so many of the best books seem to be! It can be found secondhand at Amazon.)
Lilly says: I don’t agree with everything, but its an excellent book. It’s about imbalances in relationships, and how to deal with them.
Women Who Love Too Much, by Robin Norwood.
“If being in love means being in pain, this book was written for you. Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour, which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.”
Lilly says: Classic self-help book, helped a lot of women, since it came out in 1987. It’s not so much about “loving too much”, as being/staying with the wrong (for example, inadequate, unloving, etc.) guy, and/or needing to be needed. Sounds familiar – then read it.
Men Who Hate Woman And The Women Who Love Them, by Susan Forward.
The book describes “Profiles of men who emotionally abuse women and the women who are attracted to them, … accompanied by advice for women who want to improve or terminate misogynistic relationships while increasing their self-respect, courage, and confidence.”
Lilly says: A true classic. Must read if, for example, you feel he wants to control you.
SEXUAL ABUSE
Beginning to Heal (Revised Edition): A First Book for Men and Women Who Were Sexually Abused as Children, by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis (Paperback - 1 Nov 2003).
Lilly says: If you suspect sexual abuse start with this book, then read the next one below. Highly esteemed writer.
The Courage To Heal, by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.
Lilly says: excellent, a real classic self-help book.
Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse, by Ellen Bass (Foreword), Mike Lew.
Lilly says: Another classic by now.
STRESS, TIME MANAGEMENT, AND BURN-OUT
Getting Things Done: How to Achieve Stress-free Productivity, by David Allen.
“This book is for all those who are overwhelmed with too many things to do, too little time to do them, and a general sense of unease that something important is being missed. Everyone has experienced times when everything seemed effortless, and progress limitless. David Allen has captured ways for you to achieve that wonderful state of mind and consciousness more often.”
Lilly says; highly esteemed read, rapidly seen as a classic.
The Stress Factor. (Previously Published in Britain under the title, Executive Stress: Strategies for Survival), by Donald Norfolk.
Lilly says: Old book, but contains many gems, written for business men. Densely packed with advice for men and women, which usually still holds, although it is dated now in its writing style. Used to be a favorite in the 80s.
The Complete Time Management System, by Christian H. Godefroy and John Clark (Author).
Lilly says: The best book I know on time management! It can be found secondhand at Amazon.
Ten Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management: Proven Strategies for Increased Productivity and Inner Peace (People Skills for Professionals), by Hyrum W. Smith.
Lilly says: Very interesting book. Especially if you work in business.
Burn-Out: The High Cost of High Achievement, by Herbert Freudenberger (Author), Geraldine Pichelson (Author).
The author links Burn-Out to unrealistic expectations by high flyers or idealistic persons of themselves or by their employers - so the person eventually depletes their mental and physical energy.
Lilly says: Excellent book, warmly recommended. I can’t find many good books on Burn-Out, so buy this one secondhand at Amazon.
SUCCESS AND PERFORMANCE ISSUES
The Drama of Being a Child : The Search for the True Self, by Alice Miller (April 1995).
Lilly says: An excellent book. Alice Miller, Swiss psychoanalyst, examines the woes and ‘failures’ of those people, whose parents expected them to do well, perform – be the best! And how this can lead to, for example, depression/feeling shame about the ‘failure’ to live up to those expectations, if the child cannot meet those aspirations. A bit more difficult to read than most books on the list.
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Born to Win, by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward (Aug 1996).
Lilly says: A real classic, a bit dated by now, but still very worthwhile.
I'm OK, You're OK, by Thomas A. Harris ( May 1995).
Lilly says: Another classic.
WEIGHT ISSUES / OVEREATING
When Food Is Love, by Geneen Roth
“Examining the link between eating disorders and the need for intimacy they sometimes mask, the author uses her own experience and the stories of people she has helped in her work and seminars”.
Lilly says: Interesting book and easy to read. Recommended.
Dieting Makes You Fat, by G. Cannon and H. Einzig, Sphere Books Ltd, 1983.
Lilly says: A real classic. Once a best-seller in the 80s and yet most people still didn’t know it and got ‘fat’ with dieting. Probably still worth reading, although by now newer books are on the market.
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